Updated: Feb 15, 2019
'I believe in intuitions and inspirations...I sometimes feel that I am right. I do not know that I am.'
Throughout my life finding human connection and happiness has always been my number one priority. After studying at University and doing work experience in London, I can remember saying to myself, 'I would rather work forever in a flower shop with good people then make lots of money but be miserable'. After that I gave up chasing my 6 year dream to be a journalist and instead worked in a charity shop, saved money, and moved abroad.
It was then that I really began to see that the way I had been living was destroying my inner peace and my general ability to enjoy life. Through years of making connections fuelled only by alcohol and drugs, I was thrown to the other side of the world with my problems and left there until I figured it all out. Thinking that as soon as I left all my problems would go away, I became more and more lost in this knowing that something wasn't right. My chemistry was completely messed up. I couldn't be happy, even in the most beautiful places. I couldn't connect with people because I couldn't connect with myself, I was stuck for over a year in my own head - and today I sit here with complete gratitude because it led me here.
Through silence, kindness, nature and love; a seed was planted that would change my life forever. My feelings resurfaced, I began to trust in life again, and this time it guided me to South Korea.
Life is always bringing you challenges and experiences that are here to serve your highest potential, it is difficult to see this when you are in the midst of the challenges, but when you look back you see that these were the most transformational times of your life. Once I began recognising the patterns that were destroying my happiness, I was greeted by a feeling so deeply in my gut that I should or shouldn't be somewhere. The times which I used to crave, the parties and false connections all seemed pointless. I began craving something deeper so I dedicated each moment reshaping my brain and rebuilding my internal chemistry so I could feel again. So I could connect, be happy and be peaceful without any external stimulants.
Living in a foreign land is one of the greatest paths to self discovery that I have known. It shakes your thoughts, values, and ego until you no longer attach yourself to this self-projected image that you have spent your whole life creating. When you are at home, you will find people to reaffirm the role that you play and this is where you feel safe. This is your comfort zone. It isn't until you spend time really alone that you begin to see the thread unravel and someone different appears.
I hold this space to share the lessons, practices, and recipes that have helped me to reconnect in hope that they will bring you some balance.
A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr